


I am he as you are me and we are all together

by orphan_account



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Bodyswap, Bundesliga, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-30
Updated: 2014-10-18
Packaged: 2018-02-15 08:50:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2222901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mario and Marco wake up to find themselves in each other's bodies... </p><p>That's right. Götzeus now has a bodyswap fic. I'm sorry ;)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. What the Hell!

Mario woke up. It was an ordinary Sunday morning as far as he could remember but something felt immediately different. He rolled over in bed and- hold on, this wasn't his bed. This wasn't his room. Puzzled, he ran a hand through his hair as he lay there and- whoa, had someone cut his hair? It felt thinner and shorter on the sides and- his hands! Mario caught sight of them and his fingers were thinner, his skin was paler... His arms! He had tattoos?! And they looked familiar... 

He jumped out of the bed and noticed a mirror on the wall.  
The face staring back at him was Marco Reus.

A phone rang on the night table beside the bed and Mario saw the caller ID flash up. It was his picture, labelled 'Sunny'.  
 _'Okay, so I must be extremely hungover and my eyes are playing tricks and I've accidentally switched phones with Marco?'_ Mario thought, but nothing made sense. He was sure he hadn't even been drinking last night, but for some reason he felt compelled to answer the phone anyway.

"Hello?" he said dazedly.  
"Mario?" It sounded like his own voice on the other end of the line and the voice that had come from of his own mouth had sounded like...  
"Marco?"  
"Yeah, it's me but dude I'm not- Are you- Something's- Do you feel okay?"

Mario caught himself in the mirror again and it was still wasn't himself. It was Marco again. And it wasn't a picture of Marco taped over the glass or anything. It moved as Mario did and was undoubtedly his real-time reflection. But he was Marco! The blonde hair, the narrow face, the extra height. Marco.

"No, I'm not okay... I don't know how to say this but I look like you and I sound like you and I don't know where I am and-"  
"I'm you."  
"What?"  
"Mario, this morning I woke up in your apartment and I'm you. I mean, I'm me, I'm Marco, inside, but outside, like you said, I look exactly like you."

Mario grabbed his face. Marco's face. Yes, it was true. He was definitely in Marco's body.

"What the hell is going on?!"  
"I..." started Marco, "Have you seen  _Freaky Friday_ _?"_  
"That's not a documentary!"  
"Yeah, well, maybe it is because the fact is I am currently standing in your bathroom staring in your mirror but it's _you_ and your face and your voice and obviously I'm freaking the hell out."

Mario didn't know what to say. Marco was right. But he did have a question, "So you called... yourself?"  
"I- Yeah. I felt compelled to, I guess, like something was guiding my hand."  
"Me too, when I answered."  
"So what the hell do we do now?"  
"I don't even know where I am!" Mario remembered anew.  
"Well, I'm in your apartment so you must be in mine?"  
"No, it's not-"  
"Wait! I was visiting my parents last night."  
"Your parents? Hold on! Someone's coming upstairs!"

"Marco!" a voice called.

"It's your mum!" hissed Mario urgently into the phone. "Help! What do I do?"  
"Oh my god, Mario, how should I know! I'm going to get in my- _your_ car right now and I'll be there as soon as I can, okay? Until then you've got to be me, I guess. I mean, nobody's ever gonna believe we've... switched bodies or whatever's happened, I mean-"

"Marco?" Mrs Reus' voice was at the bedroom door now.

"Sorry, Mum!" Mario shouted, panicking. "I'm, umm, I'm naked? And I'm really sick! Please don't come in!"  
"You're sick?" she called.  
"You're naked?" Mario heard Marco demand over the phone in his hand. "You better not be!"  
"You better not be!" Mrs Reus said at the same time, although in an entirely different tone. "Not on your grandmother's birthday!"

Marco could obviously hear his mother through the phone and said, "Damn, Mario! That's why I was staying with them. We're having a huge party with the whole family this afternoon... Damn! Stall! You're just gonna have to stall until I get there and... we... something!" Then Mario heard the starting of an engine.

"Uh, Mum," Mario called, panic and confusion growing by the second. "I'm going back to sleep for a while to, umm, try to get better before the afternoon. And uh, Mario's going to come over later, by the way, to... to help us, if that's okay?"  
"I suppose so, honey. Alright, sleep well now and hopefully you'll feel like yourself again soon!"

Mario could almost have laughed at that if he wasn't nearly crying. Freaky Friday bodyswapping stuff didn't just  _happen_  and yet here he was, stuck in Marco's body and Marco was currently speeding his down the Autobahn... God knows what they'd even do when he arrived though! Or in the meantime either, because you couldn't exactly Web MD this!  _'Symptoms? I'm suddenly tall and blonde and my best friend,'_ he scoffed. Mario stared in the mirror again. This was the weirdest sensation he had ever experienced. He was inside Marco's body- Oh, Marco! They hadn't hung up!

"Marco?"  
"Yes?"  
"Firstly, I hope you've got my phone on speaker since you're driving because if you crash and kill me, or kill my body or whatever, well..."  
Marco laughed, and it made Mario smile for the first time this unbelievable morning.  
"Don't worry, Sunny! I would never let anything happen to this beautiful body of yours."  
What was he supposed to say to that? He looked in the mirror again, into Marco's lovely eyes and at his smooth skin...   
"Well then I won't let anything happen to yours either."  
"You think my body's beautiful?" asked Marco cheekily. (Well, how else was he going to pass the time? Might as well tease his best friend, not to mention doing so in said friend's own voice, which Marco was oddly enjoying hearing through his mouth.)  
There was no answer.  
Something passed back through Marco's mind, accompanied by a rather strange feeling. "Are you really naked?"  
"No! I was just trying to get rid of your mum! I swear I'm not naked!"  
"Well, umm, you can, if you like," Marco said softly. "I mean, I'd do it, if I were you," he joked, but then his voice grew low again, as if he were almost apologising but not quite. "I, uh, I kind of checked you out this morning, Sunny, I'm not gonna lie."

Oh god. Mario didn't know what to say again. Marco had seen... everything, and he hadn't even been there?!

"I liked it, by the way," Marco continued, boldly. "As I said, your body - all of it - is beautiful."

It took a moment before Mario found words again, although he didn't know if they were the right ones because while he was kind of upset that Marco had 'checked him out', he was also kind of flattered and excited. "I can't believe you looked!" he stuttered.  
"I can't believe you  _won't!"_  
"Well," started Mario but the truth was he really wanted to. He had wanted to get to know and touch every centimetre of this skin for some years now but never imagined it could happen - and certainly not like this! - so he changed his mind. "It would only be fair now that you've seen me, right? Otherwise it'll be awkward..."  
"And this isn't?!"  
"Well, yeah, I-"  
"I'll be there in a few hours, Sunny. Be gentle." He hung up.

Had Marco Reus really just invited him to... to explore his body?!   
This was the weirdest Sunday _ever_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title taken from The Beatles' classic 'I Am The Walrus'.
> 
> I'm not sure when I will be finishing this (because, to be honest, I don't know how!) but I will try within the next few days if you guys like it :)


	2. Waiting

Mario ran his hands (well, Marco's hands, but you get the picture) over the tattoos down his arm. His fingers traced the black M-A-R-C-O of his friend's name in ink.  
 _'What kind of idiot gets his own name tattooed?'_ he wondered humorously, not for the first time, although secretly he quite liked it, because he liked everything about Marco, he always had, and if this... supernatural catastrophe was going to help bring them closer together again after his infamous Bayern transfer, then well, it was probably going to be worth it. Whatever  _it_ even was. Seriously, how the hell had this happened? And how the hell could they reverse it? Maybe he did need to start taking films like  _Freaky Friday_ seriously!

_'Oh, this is a new tattoo, I think,'_ Mario pondered suddenly, fingers discovering an unusual symbol comprised of something like two swirling intertwined arrows near the wrist. He hadn't been this close to Marco for a while so recently added ink was entirely possible. That made him kind of sad, actually. Missing things. Missing Marco.

His eyes drifted back to the mirror and he looked himself over again - sadly, fondly, curiously. He was wearing a loose white t-shirt and black shorts, his sleeping attire, and it made Mario slightly jealous to think his friend looked so good even in such simple clothes, when nobody else would see him. Somewhere in the house, a clock struck 10 and Mario realised that he was going to go insane waiting in this room until the afternoon for Marco to arrive, so he decided to get dressed and brave whatever would come his way. And anyway, getting changed would make him feel less strange and... guilty if he happened to see a bit more of Marco, even though he'd been practically  _told_ to look.

So Mario took hold of the white t-shirt and pulled it slowly off over head.  _Wow._ The torso beneath was so lean and athletic. Of course, he'd seen Marco shirtless plenty of times but not like this. It wasn't that Mario didn't think his own body was good too - it was, fit and strong - but people often described it as 'curvy' while Marco was flat and angular. Mario couldn't help but run his hands over his chest and down across his well defined abs, tracing the lines carefully, wondrously with his fingers. His skin was smooth and alabaster and Mario could have related him to a porcelain doll if his muscles weren't so firm and masculine. _Damn_. He lowered his gaze further down now, at those black shorts, and was so tempted to let his fingers follow, but suddenly he felt... Oh, he felt nervous and indecent and stupid and he realised he was blushing bright red. 

_'Okay, I need clothing,'_ Mario told himself quickly, using his trembling hands to open the room's closet door. Of course Marco didn't live in his parents' home anymore so it was filled with the assorted mostly useless items that live in every spare room, leaving Mario at a loss as to what to wear until he noticed a small suitcase in the corner of the room.  _'Thank goodness,'_ he thought, not sure why he had become so embarrassed over this body, which he'd been so keen to see so many times. It just didn't feel _right_... He unzipped the suitcase and was surprised to see that on top was an old Dortmund jersey with his number and name on the back! Why did Marco have this with him? Did he actually wear it? Questions swimming, he dropped the Götze jersey on the floor and reached for the next shirt. This was a soft grey v-neck so he picked it up and pulled it on, now seeking trousers. There were some nice black jeans towards the bottom of the case so Mario got them out and pulled them over the shorts he was already wearing, not wanting to cross any of the lines his brain oddly kept setting for itself, despite his hot-blood, by removing them first. A pair of black socks to keep his feet warm, then he tussled his hair a bit with his fingers before deciding it was time to see what would happen out there.

Not wanting to leave a mess, though, Mario first picked up his Dortmund jersey to fold it back into the case, only just noticing a twisting arrow symbol embroidered in black on the sleeve. _'Weird,'_ he thought,  _'I don't remember that logo being on them? What company is that? Hold on, it's the same as Marco's new wrist tattoo. Maybe it's a BVB thing? I didn't think I'd been away long enough to forget anything but apparently I have...'  
_ At a loss, Mario closed the suitcase, slipped Marco's cellphone into his pocket then turned the door handle, quickly trying to remember what he knew about Marco's family. He'd met them quite a lot of times at games and on various other occasions, but he and his friend were usually in a bit too much of a 'bubble' when they were together for much information to have stuck. _'_ _I guess I can fake puking to call Marco if anything happens and I need his help,'_ Mario thought, stepping into the kitchen.

"Marco! Are you feeling better, sweetheart?" his mother asked when she saw him, immediately coming over and placing her hand on his forehead as mothers tend to do whenever a child is sick, not that it helps in the slightest. "Darling, you feel rather hot."  
Mario wasn't surprised given how much he'd been thinking about her gorgeous son this morning, but he insisted he was feeling fine now and asked if she needed any help in the kitchen. It looked like she'd been baking for days already though - the counters covered in trays of delicious looking goods.   
 _'Marco would probably steal one,'_ he thought,  _'the cheeky bastard!'_ so he decided to get in character a little and snatch an iced gingerbread off a large blue plate.  
"Hey!" cried Mrs Reus, in mock horror. "I thought you were sick!"  
Mario shrugged with a grin as he popped the cookie in his mouth. Damn, he loved sweets!  _'Especially if they're not going to MY body...'_ he thought slyly, grabbing another as Marco's mum tried to slap his hand away.  
"So much for 'do I need help', boy! You're taking me backwards!"  
"Sorry," Mario laughed, realising the trouble-causing potential he held over Marco like this with perhaps too much glee.  _'Although who knows when and how we'll swap back so I'd better not push it too_   _far.'_  
"Hopefully Mario won't be as rude as you this afternoon, if he's still coming like you said."  
"Yes, Mario..." he replied, sensing an opportunity to get some rare behind-the-scenes opinions here. "I'm sure he'll behave. You don't think so?"  
"Oh, of course! It will be great to have him. He's such a lovely young man. And I know how much you miss him all the time, darling, so it's really sweet of him to come all the way up here for you on a day-off."

So Marco had told his mum he missed him, then. And she thought he was lovely.  
Interesting. Good.  
Just as this day was turning out to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooh, mysterious plot device planting and cookies and none of the stuff you were waiting for ;) I hope you liked it anyway and that you'll stick around for whatever happens next when Marco arrives! Suggestions are always welcome, and thanks for the kudos and comments on the first chapter too x


	3. Facing Yourself

The doorbell rang.

Mario and Mrs Reus were just finishing lunch at the kitchen table. It had been a largely uneventful morning - thank goodness - as the rest of Marco's family had been setting up the park where Oma's birthday celebration would be later, meaning Mario had been able to casually help Mrs Reus bake, fold serviettes and those sort of domestic things he would never have imagined Marco doing, without too much risk of creating confusion but, man, he could _not_ wait to see Marco now and figure this insanity out.

"I'll get it!" Mario said, jumping up so fast he accidentally sent his glass tumbling off the table. Quick as a flash, Mrs Reus caught it.  
"Someone's excited!" she remarked. "Try not to knock him down with the door."

Mario apologised as he left the room, then turned down the hallway and opened the door to face himself. He'd been expecting that, of course, but he wasn't prepared. Neither was Marco apparently. They both kind of just stood there, mouths open a little and eyes wide. This was  _real._  And now they had to deal with it. Somehow. 

"My hair looks awful," said Marco, at last splitting the stunned silence. "What the hell did you do to it?"  
Mario laughed. Trust Marco to worry about his hair, above all things! "Nothing," he replied.  
"Well, there's the problem!"  
"To be fair, I don't think I'd wear that jacket with that shirt."

"Aren't you going to invite him in, darling?" Marco's mother called, breaking the banter.

"You better come in, then," Mario said. "To your own house."  
"Thanks," Marco smiled. Mario still couldn't believe what he was seeing. It was like he was looking in a mirror but it didn't match his movements. He felt a bit sick. Marco walked through the front door and past him.  
"Whoa," said Mario suddenly.  
"What?"  
"It's just... the back of my own head. The _top_ of my own head. I'm taller than myself."   
"Yeah, it's a different climate down here!" Marco teased, taking off his jacket and hanging it on a hook. A dark mark just about his wrist caught Mario's eye.  
"DID YOU GIVE ME A TATTOO?" he demanded, grabbing Marco's hand.   
"No! When would I have even- _You_ got it! I was a bit offended you didn't tell me, actually."  
"Dude, shut up. I didn't get a tattoo." Mario pulled Marco closer to him and looked carefully at the symbol inked in his skin. Oh no. "Look," he said, presenting his own wrist so that Marco now took his hand too.  
"They're the same!"  
"Yeah. I think-"

"Hello Mario," called Mrs Reus, stepping into the hall, somewhat surprised to find her son and his former teammate standing there holding each others' hands and staring solemnly into each others' eyes. "Sorry- uh- welcome, Mario. It's lovely to see you. Did you have lunch yet?"  
"No, lunch would be great, actually," replied Marco, hurriedly dropping Mario's hands and remembering he hadn't eaten all day. "I might use the bathroom first, though, uh, if that's okay." He started to walk towards the bathroom, when Mario suddenly realised that he - Marco - wasn't supposed to have been here before so he wouldn't know where the bathroom is.   
"Hey! I'll show you where it is," he said quickly. They needed to talk somewhere private anyway.

Marco pulled the bathroom door shut behind himself and Mario. "Okay, so...?"  
"Well, obviously I have no idea what this means but we've both magically developed matching tattoos _and_ I saw the same symbol stitched into my jersey in your suitcase."  
"Your jersey? I didn't pack that."  
"So somebody's done some kind of voodoo on us?"  
"Like putting _this_ ," Marco gestured at their swirling arrows, "on your shirt put it on your skin?"  
"Yes?" Mario knew it sounded crazy but if anything was plausible...  
"Come to think of it, I did notice one of my jerseys in your drawers. I didn't look closely but, since we've got nothing else to go on, I'd be willing to bet the symbol was there too."  
"Pissed off any witches lately?" Mario asked.  
"Not lately," Marco grinned. "Hang on, have you tried playing Ann-Kathrin's new song backwards? No demonic stuff? Besides her voice, I mean."  
"Hey!" Mario said, punching his counterpart in the arm.  
"Dude, you'll damage your pretty skin!"  
Mario rolled his eyes. "So what do we do now?"  
"Well, I still have to pee like a racehorse so maybe you want to go away," Marco said, pushing Mario towards the door.  
"I have seen myself pee before," Mario couldn't resist joking.

Marco didn't know why that of all things did it, but suddenly, with Mario's back against the closed door, he was overcome with the urge to kiss his friend. _'Psychologists would probably have a meltdown over someone kissing their own face,'_ he thought, but it was still Mario and everything was so bizarre and alluring and... he leaned in slowly, lifting his hand to Mario's face when-  
"Boys! I'm going to get ready now but I just put more bread on the table so please help yourself!"

Marco quickly stepped back at the sound of his mother's voice, and Mario spun around and let himself out of the bathroom.  
 _'So what do we do now?'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really sorry updating took forever! I have been super busy and so unfortunately it just didn't happen.  
> In case you're confused, the backwards song joke is a reference to how lots of rock/metal bands used to get accused of backmasking Satanic messages into their music. I mean no offence to AK ;)  
> Thanks for all the kindness ♥ Next chapter should be up on the weekend.


	4. Almost

They went to the party.

There was no choice, really. This was clearly a big deal to Marco's family - which Mario, again, would not have expected and thought was seriously adorable - so as much as they would rather have stayed away from everyone else, they were taken to a park decorated with balloons and streamers and buzzing with Reus family members. From the second they arrived, everyone wanted to ask Marco a million questions. They managed with a mixture of hurried information whispering as people approached on Marco's part ("okay, this is my uncle Lukas, he's married to Lea, see the short lady over there?") and lots of enthusiastic bluffing on Mario's ("yes, I think you're absolutely right about... Christian's new job, a very good fit!"), although generally introducing the World Cup winning goalscorer ("Mario happened to be on holiday in the area") served as good enough distraction to keep much serious family talk at bay.

At first, it was all kind of stressful but as the hours rolled along, both boys found themselves actually having _fun_. It was sort of like a game or challenge, there was plenty of great food, and most importantly, this was the most the friends had talked or hung out in ages.

Marco stared at Mario pretending to be him, chatting to a childhood neighbour with a huge grin on his face and some sort icy drink in his hand, and the same silly thought he'd had a dozen times today arose again,  _'At least now if we ever get together, he's already met my entire family'._ Sure, Marco loved Mario. He had ever since they'd met, really, and most of the time he felt like it was reciprocal, although they'd never acted on it. (Well, besides infinite amounts of pretty obvious flirting.) But maybe if anything could change that, break down the million reasons against, it could be this insane experience.

"So, is there a lucky lady in your life, Marco?" asked the guest, as people who haven't seen you for years always tend to do.  
"No," replied Mario, glancing at Marco beside him, "No lady."  
“Well, I’m sure the right thing will happen at the right time.”  
“I hope so.”  
Once Mario would have rolled his eyes at the neighbour’s clichéd words but now Marco met his gaze again and Mario realised he really did want that ‘right thing’ because he knew exactly what – who - it was and maybe the ‘right time’ could even be now. Well, not _right_ now because someone else was coming to talk to him but today… Perhaps there was a method to this madness.

“Marco!” said Mr Reus, suddenly tapping Mario on the shoulder. “I left the candles for Oma’s cake in the car, so can you please put those Champion legs to good use and go get them for us? I’m parked right down the road over there ‘cause it was busy when I arrived this morning.”  
“Yeah, no problem,” Mario replied, then realised he hadn’t seen which car belonged to Marco’s dad yet so he added, “Come for a jog with me, Mario?”  
“Well, I’m not as fast as you,” Marco teased, “but I’ll try.”  


Mr Reus gave Mario his keys, then they set off across the park, rounding the corner to his car a few minutes later.  
“Hey, we should drive it closer, now that there’s more parking over there, so Dad can pack up quicker when everyone goes home,” Marco suggested.  
“Good idea,” Mario agreed and unlocked the doors. He sat in the driver’s seat and Marco got in the passenger’s. Mario turned the key and reached for the gear stick, then to his surprise (but not really) Marco took his hand and pulled him gently towards his side. Marco’s eyes flicked lovingly from Mario’s eyes to his lips and both boys leaned in, angling their heads, lips mere millimetres away when there was a loud tap on the car window. Mario pulled back so fast he smacked his head on the glass, which the elderly lady outside was now miming to wind down. Mario rubbed the sore spot on his head, grimacing, while Marco pressed the window button and quickly whispered, “It’s my great-aunt Mathilde”.

“Tante Thilde!” Mario said, recovering quickly. “Sorry, I didn’t see you there!”  
“Hello Marco! I was just wondering where the party is!” she said extremely loudly.  
 _‘So she’s hard of hearing,’_ Mario thought. _‘Hopefully she doesn’t see too well either or...’_  
“I know I’ve come awfully late but it is the park on this street, isn’t it?” she continued. “Only I can’t read the signs too well these days I’m afraid, Marco.”  
 _‘Thank goodness!’_  
“Yes, it’s just down there,” Mario said, pointing. “Please, hop in if you’d like, we’re driving around now.”  
“Oh thank you, darling. My legs are rather tired! But I am very sorry for interrupting you and your handsome boyfriend here.”

Mario had three thoughts in quick succession. The first was _‘Her vision’s alright then’,_ his second: _‘S_ _he’s progressive for an old lady!’_ and his third: _‘Busted.’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really sorry I'm the worst updater in the world! You are all truly lovely though, so thank you and I hope you're not too disappointed x


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